Updates

How are you holding up?

I am doing ok. Floating around in my confused head as per usual...

I am sorry I have been out of contact, since our meetings in the spring I have been doing the slow work of doing things / procrastinating on other things, finding ways around external and self-imposed obstacles... that’s about it. Super-boring.

I hope you are doing ok, despite the pandemie. How are you managing? 

I miss traveling, and friends! And dinner with friends! But, I have managed to stay healthy and my close family has also remained healthy, so that is something major to be grateful for...

The publication project is still a go (the Employee).

The timeline has been delayed because it took us a lot longer to find someone to hire, but now it’s running quite smoothly. I think it doesn’t make sense to really begin work on the publication yet, since it’s pretty early on, but we should probably check in early spring to begin compiling things.

Send me some news about depressing covid-times Montreal, and some photos of your beautiful home and food and plants!

😍😍😍

Josh

dear Farah,

Heyyyy I am SO sorry for taking ages. I read your email right away and then got distracted and here we are!

Things are ok here. I'd like to think overall I've been very lucky (home, Ali, cats, Fiona living upstairs) and settling into it alright, but lately my emotions are really dialed up. Like, I'm crying to parts in movies that don't make sense. Ali and I have been bickering more and last night was a bit of a showdown. But we're patched up today and it's just the pandemic catching up, you know? But other things have been great: I'm now very anti-capitalist (I finally get the concept lol thank you Sheena!!) and I've realized how fucked up money is!!

But workwise things are feeling good. More stable. I've learned A LOT this year re: client management, relationship building, team stuff, marketing, and I'm proud of myself for not giving up. This part of my life is so good and the whole team has been so loyal and caring with eachother and with me. ❤️ One of these days I'll figure out how to run an anti-capitalist business!

PETS!! We have a new bebe names Milo. Our second Jinho clone. And my pal Arsi in Dhaka has a husky who reminds me so much of Astra omgggg!! 

And that's it! 

I love you so much and thank you for the nudge to write back!

Dear dear Farah,

Ugh, I miss you so much!!! It’s 100% ok that you didn’t write back right away. People are slower to reply these days, because things are so overwhelming right now. I just also know that we all need each other more than ever, so I am occasionally emerging from my mind-swamp to reach out.

I understand about emotional distress. My bf and I are mostly peaceful, but then sometimes things get very intensely stressful and fights break out that feel so overwhelming and major, because there are so few outlets! Like moving out or breaking up is not possible — there’s nowhere to go, it’s just this tiny apartment and this safe/too safe/ hermetic relationship!! Aaaaahhhh! Friendships are usually how I access other dimensions of myself beyond my relationship, and all of my friendships are with my computer right now, which is limited, and not exactly adequate. I am trying to accept this, and to compensate with exercise, meditation, dog cuddles, and cooking, but it’s tough especially knowing this will drag on through the winter. However, I also feel very grateful to have a partner who is on the same page as me about covid safety precautions, and is being extremely careful about avoiding unnecessary social contact. For some of my friends and siblings this isn’t the case, and I feel very sorry for them since these situations are definitely exposing conflicts of priorities in relationships.

Also eeeeeee to new cats!!

Also, in my mind you have always been pretty anti-capitalist. You are one of the most generous, thoughtful and reflective people I know. But I am also glad to hear that you are growing into those questions, and taking this year to learn. I think maintaining curiosity and leaning into discovery is key to getting through what appears as stagnation. I love you Farah!!!!!

Thank you for our friendship.

Would it make sense to talk soon? There’s actually no rush, but it might actually help me to understand and organize the ideas that I have for the project into something coherent (there are too many).

Xoxoxox