Lauren Wetmore <████████████████████████████████ >
To: Bopha Chhay <████████████████████ >
Cc: Josh Schwebel <privatejosh@gmail.com>
Hi Bopha,
What a terrific new draft!
I’ve gone through making some suggestions to improve flow and avoid repeated words, as well as asking a few last questions.
One main thing to look out for is that I changed a lot of past tense to present tense because, although you are discussing your past experience, your observations and Artspeak are still relevant / in operation. Let me know what you think about that - it could be that you wanted to confine your observations to your tenure at Artspeak, in which case I can propose another solution for the tense.
Don’t worry about citations and word formats - the copy editor will bring all of that into conformity.
And, last but not least, what are you thinking for a title?
Thank you, as always, for such commitment to this project,
Lauren